21 pilots songs are the only things my brain can comprehend right now. It is an addiction. I can't listen to anything else. Wednesday I woke up and messaged every groupMe I was a part of and asked them for book recommendations. I want to read more books. I got a bunch of responses, and some of them looked appealing once I googled them. I drove myself to Barnes and Noble and came out with and armful of literature. The Girl On The Train, It's Kind Of A Funny Story, Constellation Of A Vital Phenomena. Started Girl On The Train first, will review once I finish. So far, everybody in it is British and the girl is an alcoholic. my kind of book. // After Barnes and Nobel I went to Tony's house to finally finish painting his wall. Finished taping the pattern. Pour the paint. mix the paint. paint the wall. fuck up the pattern. Paint some more. paint over it. let's try labeling the shapes with the corresponding colors Before we paint them. Still mess it up? awesome. Let the paint dry. Peel off the tape. The tape rips off pieces of dry wall in chunks. Ruining portions of our design. Times like this in life really test you. We put hours into it trying to make it perfect, only to have tape and dry wall rip it to pieces. In the end, it still turned out pretty awesome.Somehow I found myself on Alec's porch later on. Sometimes I don't know how I get places or why I go there, I'm just.. there. I look up and realize I am somewhere, doing something.
That night I went to Vegan Treats in the North Side for the first time with Steph, and got a cookie and a cake. Then it turned into wine Wednesday, and I might have even made a friend. People who like 21 Pilots are my kind of people. Also, who knew vegan & gluten free cakes would taste so damn good.OH and as I was waiting to get picked up to go to Vegan Treats, I am sitting on my porch and five Townie kids are outside of it on the corner. One can't be older than 18, one is an infant, and three are anywhere from 6 to 10 years old. Turns out they graffitied our porch with chalk. If you look close enough at the picture I posted, they actually wrote "Deez nuts". on my fucking porch. like, WHAT? Go get a hobby, or play in a park or some shit. Don't write things on my porch.
Thursday morning I woke up and took a shower. I could see the grease in my hair. Emily calls me to see if we are still on for lunch at the farmer's market. Yep lemme throw on clothes, give me 8 minutes. Emily loves all things related to growing things and farms and fruits and vegetables and plants. It was hot and nice out, but a little breezy for the dress I was wearing. We took a lap around the square, seeing what each tent had to offer before making choices. I bought an apple cider, and she bought a pepper plant (like a bell pepper maybe? or a hot one?) and some peanut butter. For lunch we ate from the Taza Truck, which has average to above average middle eastern food. No idea what country it's from. Could be anything from Turkey to India. She's a good lunch date. // Walked together as far as we could go before our destinations dictated we go different directions. Said goodbye for the weekend. Next stop, admissions building for me, back to work for her. Dropped off some paperwork at Financial Aid Office so hopefully I can continue going to this ridiculously expensive school. After a phone call with mom, I go home and pack my bags, hop in my car and leave. I picked what must have been the world's slowest pumping gas station to fill up at before we left. // Two hours of 21 Pilots and Taylor swift later, I'm home at my house. Home with my mom, and my pup, and my brothers and step dad. I miss my mom a lot, even though we talk every day when I'm at school. She's just nice, and she likes me, and helps me do shit, and doesn't judge me for my awful decisions. and sometimes she throws me some money for new shoes if mine have holes in them. I miss my pup too, all the time. I've never loved a pet with the same love I have for Ted. Of course I've loved all of my pets, but Ted is different. and I've never seen a dog love a family like Ted loves us. // Went to a local surf shop with Rob, Brave New World. Got myself a new snapback. It's mesh and blue and red and I love it. Rob and I get along sometimes, most of the time. In limited doses. I say the wrong thing, a lot. and I know I do but I don't mean to. Doesn't take it back, but that's my entire life. // At home I convince .. "convince" mom to watch Harry Potter with me. All day I've been craving Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's a classic. I can quote the entire thing, while simultaneously annoying every other person that's watching it with me.
Stayed up until 1am on the computer watching youtube videos and netflix and modern family on the television. Went upstairs and went to bed, and somehow it's 3:24am and I'm still not asleep. Why sleep when you could not?
Sometimes when you make really, really poor decisions with your actions, you have to sit there and take all of the consequences. Even if the consequences are watching someone you care about get really, really hurt. I'm pretty sure this is an example of the phrase that has something to do with making a bed and lying in it. So this is me, lying in my metaphorical (and actual) bed. Hoping that if I just accept the shit I did, eventually I can stop feeling so horrible.
Jenna Marbles made a video that I watched and couldn't believe I watched it. She says everything that I've tried to put into cohesive thoughts for a very long time. Which is why she is amazing and I love her. Here's that video, in case you're interested.
And also another 21 Pilots song because I can't listen to anything else. it's sick, really. help me.
Migraine
And also...
Not Today
