I finally figured out how to get to my morning classroom. It's a good thing, too, because I have class in there every single day from now until the end of the semester. Economics class wasn't what I expected it to be, probably because I had zero expectations about it. My professor wasn't who I expecting to see either. He's this old man, with white hair, and eyebrows so long that they pop up and over his glasses. He could legit comb them. But he's enthusiastic and really loves economics, so I have high hopes for this class.
I had a two hour break between classes. After fervently seeking someone to drive me to the mechanic, I ended up just calling a cab. To be fair, I was asking people in the middle of the day, who, unlike me have actual classes and stuff. I hopped in the back seat and it gave an uncomfortable squish. It smelled like pine sol covering throw up and coffee spills, which only added to the nausea I had developed from being jerked around in the back seat of this speeding death trap. Being able to get out, hand him my $11 and get the keys to my car was a beautiful relief. You never realize how much you take having windows for granted, until you break yours and it gets stuck down for three days. in the rain. and snow.
I treated myself to WaWa for lunch; a jalapeno cheese filled pretzel, a Naked juice, half a hoagie, and a vanilla chai latte. The vanilla chai was BOMB. It was so good. I recommend it to all. It even came with round little ice pieces, that are more like ice chips, ya know what I mean? I thought they were only a southern thing, or a sonic thing, but appaz they have them at WaWa too. I know where I'm going the next time I want a vanilla iced chai latte.
My second class of the day is with one of my favorite professors. I've been a grader for him for five of his classes before, six if you count this semester too, and ten if you count this up coming summer. I've also taken almost all of the classes he's offered. He's a computer science professor. Absolutely da best. He has this funny laugh, where it sounds like of like "Hyuk yuk yuk" only I'm not even kidding. Whenever he laughs like that, the whole class stifles a giggle into their notebooks. This is the first time in his career that he's taught a 75 minute class two days a week instead of a 50 minute class three days a week, and the class actually convinced him that he should give us a BREAK in the middle of class. Never have I ever had a break in a class, where I just got up to walk around, or pee, or whatever. It was great. I'm not sure how long it will take him to figure out that nobody else does that, or if he ever will.
I picked up my textbooks from the mail store.. wait. post office? I actually just typed mail store. anyway, I spoiled myself with some new pens at the bookstore too. For those of you who don't know, I love pens. not expensive ones, or quality ones, I just have certain pens that I love to write with, very specific ones, and I buy them in bulk. My current favorites are Uniball, black ink, OR sharpie pens with blue ink, and sometimes the good ol' papermates that are pure blue, the whole pen. YOuuu know which ones I'm talking about. Classic pen. Today, I got two new sharpie pens. I've continued to take all of my notes with them today.
I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. until 6:20pm and then it was LASER TAG TIME. I've only ever gone lazur tagging once before, last year, at Zeta's date party in the spring. I then continued to roll my ankle not AT laszer tag, but after it, getting off the the bus. *face of shame*. However this year was much different. First off, I made my "username" TaylorSwift. Then, after a hot round of Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade, it was time for domination. During the first time our group got to go, we were split into teams, and of course, I was on the red team. shocker there. and my harness number was 1. So you could say I was set up to win. and Win I did. but, actually. it was a team thing, but I got the highest score of not only the red team, but the blue team as well. #killinit. The second round, I got first on the red team (which, randomly, I was placed on again), and second place over all. What can I say, I have a knack for shooting people in dark rooms with lazeher gun beams.
I had to say goodbye to Zeta's TLC (Traveling Leadership Consultant) Nicole tonight. It's cool how close you can get with a person over a week. I like that friends can be that simple. I mean, it helps that she's technically my sister and all, but, still, she was a stranger when I met her a week and a half ago. She's off to Texas now.
So something just popped into my brain as I'm sitting here trying to wrap up this post. When an artist writes a song, it's all theirs. and it means things to them. But once they release it to the public, it becomes so many more things. It takes on a different meaning for each person that listens to it. Stuff like this is what keeps me up at night. The song becomes real, it gets personified with each person's different experiences and emotions and stuff. AAAAnd we're done. I got nothin.
oh, shout out to my little bro for getting his Driver's License!! Use it in good health, kid.
I made this the song / title for my blog post because a) it's a good song and b) this music video is controversial, and I want you to see it and see how it affects you, if at all.
*****AS OF MIDNIGHT, TONIGHT, JANUARY 20TH, MY LITTLE BROTHER IS OFFICIALLY 17 YEARS OF AGE, AND WILL BE GETTING HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE (HOPEFULLY) SOMETIME TODAY AROUND 9AM I'M OFFICIALLY FREAKING OUT OKAY BYE*****
Sometimes I have so many words in my head, I can't do anything else until I open a new blog post and write everything down. Today, I've been staring at this blank sheet for an hour and a half.
Why can't relationships and friendships be as easy in real life as they are in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.? Makin my expectations too high.
I woke up at 9:44am, in time to catch my 9:45am alarm. I do that a lot. It's like, I know I need to wake up by a certain time, so my body wakes me up. I had time to take a shower, and thankfully, it was warmer than room temp. We've been having shower issues, where sometimes it gives you perfectly normal, hot shower water, and sometimes it wants to be malicious and only spit out the coldest water it can find. Those days, I decide showering is for the weak.
I got lost looking for my first classroom this morning. No surprise. Chandler-Ullman is a pure labyrinth. Truth be told, I was only lost because I went in through the back/side door, instead of the front. Had I gone in the front door, I would've almost literally walked into my classroom. I was lucky enough to have Gabby and Lauryn in my class to sit next to. It's Social Psychology. All about how people and society influences other people. Right up my alley.
I drove my car to the house for lunch today. My driver's side window has been stuck down for three days now, AND I've gotten two Lehigh parking tickets within the passed ten days. So I'm having a good time with all of that. Over the passed three days it has snowed twice, and rained for almost 24 hours. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to drop it off at the repair shop, despite it being $270 to fix. That's on top of the $457 I spend on textbooks for the semester. Why is money so important? I think money is meant to be spent. It's just paper. The mechanic (someone referred to me by my parents via connections they have through the restaurant, I swear they know everybody) said it would probably be done tomorrow. Crossin' my fingers, because I have to be a driver for zeta laser tag tomorrow night !!
I spent my time between classes today cleaning my entire house. Vacuuming, rearranging things, trying to keep the fruit flies from multiplying by the thousands, you know, basic stuff. Alexisssss stopped by to visit before she went to her sister's house. I love that girl. (hi al). I never got an email about my afternoon class being cancelled today, so I went there anyway, just to find out in person that it had been cancelled. HoOOoooOOOw considerate of them. I went home, returned my keys to my old landlord, and locked myself in my room for the rest of the night. I ordered Wings and Such for myself, and I have to say, it was extremely sub-par. HOWEVER. I did find the largest curly fry in the history of curly fries. Alec came over to give me a suitable distraction from the rest of the world. He's my go to guy, especially in that category.
I had to steal this from Emilia's snap chat, but, LOOK AT THAT SUCKER. it was enormous. like. a snake or something. I couldn't believe it, or breath because I was laughing too hard. I mean, come on.
By the end of the night, I have watched seven episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and now I'm passing out. I have two classes tomorrow, and the first one is in the same room as my Monday, Wednesday, Friday morning class as well. CU-230. Let's try not to get lost again, shall we?
I wish I blogged during winter break. I feel like a dummy. Because I did so many things that had pictures and stories and funny details that deserved to be blogged. Winter break happened in a weird way. It happened in moments. It didn't happen as a lump sum of time and days. During each moment I was focused on one thing or one place, not the break as a whole. Looking back on it though, I feel like I did so much, I don't know how I crammed it into those weeks. I'll try and recount some of the things I did for you guys, giving you only details that to me are worth remembering.
The Sunday before Christmas, my cousin Josh texted me at 5pm telling me to come to his apartment in NYC and go Christmas shopping with him the next day. In the city. so by 5:46pm, I was at the train station, on a train, duffle bag slung over my shoulder, backpack packed with a bottle of wine and a bag of christmas cookies, headed to New York. By myself, no prior planning, not knowing where I'm going, let alone how to get to his apartment. I walked up to the street from Penn Station and it was brisk and refreshing. I was alone, and I took a deep breath and looked around. I was just astounded by how many people and things can be going on in one place at the same time, without any of them aware of the other. We ate pizza when I found him, two slices each, as big as our faces, and I've never felt so full. Josh, if you read this, the only thing worth remembering from that night was the act of piercing an imaginary fruit(?) on the spiked leaf of that plant in your room. The only thing I remember. That, and Pink Elephants from dumbo. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just, google it. That should NOT have been in a children's movies. Truly nightmare material. If I gained one piece of knowledge from this trip, it was to never go Christmas shopping within 5 days of Christmas at Macy's in the city. Just. don't do it.
Christmas came and went, with presents and family and good meals and good times. Christmas reminds me of warmth. Fire places, hot chocolates, new pajamas and snuggly blankets, snuggly people. People are warmer during those times too. Softer versions of themselves, despite the cold weather.
After Christmas, yet again, spontaneously, Robbie and I decided to drive to Vermont to visit our Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins to go skiing and snowboarding. Rob and I can only put up with each other one on one for a limited amount of time, and it turns out, that period of time is approximately 9 hours. Which is how long our 5 hour trip ended up taking. They live in a Ski-on Ski-off condo, which means there is a trail right on the Okemo Mountain that leads to their condo. It's the only thing that makes going snowboarding worth it, to me. It saves time for parking, and walking to the lodge carrying all of your gear. and it lets you take breaks whenever you feel like it. Just what I need. My cousins are 6 and 9 years old, and spending extended periods of time with them always makes me laugh. Children are brutally, brutally honest, because they don't know how to be anything else. They call things how they see them, and don't quite understand social cues yet, and conversational etiquette. and sometimes they're just genuinely funny. Our time in Vermont lasted four days, and consisted of lots of snow, skiing and snowboarding, eating, watching tv, and playing trivia crack. I got my entire family to play it. Even my 9 year old cousin. The trip home went much smoother than the one up there, and we stopped at the Vermont Country Store, stocking up on cheese, syrup, and gifts for mom. Classic Vermont.
New Year's Eve for me was spent at my friend's house whose mother had just recently passed away. He was living in the house by himself for all of break. It was just him and his mom in the house, and now it's just him. Seeing a kid you grew up with, who is your age, having to pack all of his belongings from his house that he wanted to keep, knowing that everything he left behind would be gone, elicits a lot of odd emotions. Mostly empathy though. But that's where we spent our New Year's Eve. With lots of close friends, and good people. Midnight came and went, and no kisses were to be had, so I popped a bottle of champagne and we all toasted to the new year, always hoping that it will be better than the last, and that we would be better people than we were. The next day, a bunch of us went back to help him clean up, and pack things, and put them in a storage unit. 3:30am the next morning, Andrew and Lucas picked me up and we drove him to Newark Airport, this potentially being his last time living in Point Pleasant. He goes to school in Florida, and may not come back after this flight. I can't imagine what it's like to leave a place you've called home your whole life, and not go back. This part of my break had a strong impact on me. Looking back on it, we took it so lightly, for the heavy situation that it was. I just want to be a nicer person. and I want other people to realize that being nice is easy. and that everyone has feelings and stories that you don't know about, and that sometimes all you need is to be surrounded by friends, and you can make it though anything. I didn't want to disclose this, but since I'm not saying his name, I just want to tell you that she passed away from a suicide. and I know this is a heavy topic. but I just want you to know, if you're reading this, that I love you, and so many other people love you, and that suicide is a very permanent solution to temporary problems, and that nothing is worth it. YOU are worth it. and you have to take every day you wake up as a gift, because there are only going to be so many of those days.
*Deep breath*
*Pause*
Moving on. Sorry it got deep. but I had to talk about it, because it means a lot to me. That night after the airport, we drove one hour all the way to Princeton, NJ, just to eat all-you-can-eat Sushi. and it was totally worth it.
I took one of the most difficult trips I've taken in a while with my family over this break. and it was to Bethlehem, PA, where I go to school. I had to go into the house I lived in first semester, and pack up all of my things, put them in a Uhaul, bring them to a storage unit, and say good-bye to last semester for good. The physical movement of the objects wasn't the part that made it the most difficult. It was the reason behind the moving. Which I will leave unwritten, because, well, it's in the past. and I don't need to dwell on it. I doubt anybody involved would even read this blog right now anyway, but, still. There's something humbling about moving. Packing all of my shit into boxes. moving furniture. Those things don't make up who I am. We all own so many things, and have so much stuff, but on the inside, we could be completely empty. I'm not sure where this paragraph is going, so I'm going to cut it off here. Although I will say, without my mom and step dad and my two brothers having my back, I do not know where I would be. They tell me the things I don't want to hear, but need to. and they help me with the things that alone I wouldn't be able to face, and push me in the direction that I deserve to be going. They're the hot air under my balloon. Without them I'd be on the ground in a crumpled mess, with all of the potential to break through the atmosphere and no driving force behind it. Family is everything.
A few days later, with very brief planning, Emac, Andrew, Lucas and I went to Boston. We didn't know where we were going or what we would do, but Lucas goes to school there, so we knew we had a place to stay. Five hours in a car with those people is something I would do over and over again. There's something about a good group of friends that makes time feel irrelevant. You know what I mean? Hours feel like minutes. Days like nothing. Months like seconds. Time doesn't exist. Just people and inside jokes and music and laughter. It's like being in an hour glass where the sand doesn't fall, despite it being turned upside down. Boston was COLD. actually, cold is an understatement. everywhere we went, we bundled in all of the layers we could find, our faces red from the biting cold and wind. We walked dozens of thousands of steps, thanks to Andrews step counter. We did everything 20 year olds in Boston should do. Saw all the of the places to see, walked on frozen ponds, ate pastries and italian food and more all-you-can-eat sushi and indian food and pizza. We cooked each other breakfast, and danced around in our pajamas, and cleaned the shower, and played Sorry (the worst game in existence) and rode the T, for hours. Emac got pooped on. and we played Crossy Road (app on iphones) for hours on end. For all who didn't know, Kegel is when you contract and release pelvic muscles. and now whenever I hear the world Kegel, (pronouced key-gull) I physically cannot resist Kegelling. it's sick. Sorry. this got weird. Moving on.
The last couple days of break were spent packing. sitting around. and packing. Sunday came and I picked up Emac, said goodbye to my family, and made my way back to Lehigh with a heavy heart and an anxious mind. Moving into my new house wasn't easy. Physically and emotionally, but new is good. Change is good. Fortunately, the gears of my mind were set to recruitment, and for that, I was thankful and resentful at the same time. Being in a situation where four of your best friends are no longer speaking to you and you're forced to be in the same vicinity as them for a week straight, is painful. and it sucks. and yet, being surrounded by an entire chapter of girls who love you, and by certain friends who actually care about you, it gives you something to keep you going. a small something, but a something. I distracted myself as best I could, asking how I could be helpful, doing my best to keep busy and keep my head down, plunged so far into an activity that I didn't have the space in my brain to think about anything else. Some things got more bearable as the days went on, but I just want to touch on the fact that I am a human. Just like all of you. We all have feelings, and things going on in our lives, and sometimes it's easy to not think of someone else as a human. They just exist, but their feelings don't. but that's never the case. Your actions speak way louder than your words. I guess the point of me typing this, is that hopefully if you read this, you will remember that the things you do affect people, whether or not you realize it all of the time.
Recruitment was a success, and we have the most beautiful, wonderful new member class we could have asked for. I am so proud of all of my Zeta sisters for the hard work you put into recruitment, and to all my new sisters, if you're reading this, welcome to the sisterhood. We are so lucky to have you.
Soooo this was basically a novella. Oops. I tried to keep each topic short and to the point. If I keep up daily posts, I will definitely make sure they're back to normal length. If you've made it this far in the post, thanks for bearing with me. You're wonderful.
shameless selfie because it's sunday
the best big in the entire world. love ya mad
our AMAZING new member class of 2k15
The TLCs (Nicole and Niki) painted us all with awesome glitter and dots for recruitment. My little is so cute.
Thanks for playing. here's the song that pretty much echoed throughout my life this entire break. I can't believe I have school tomorrow. Not even real. I just want to shut up and dance or something.
I had a two hour break between classes. After fervently seeking someone to drive me to the mechanic, I ended up just calling a cab. To be fair, I was asking people in the middle of the day, who, unlike me have actual classes and stuff. I hopped in the back seat and it gave an uncomfortable squish. It smelled like pine sol covering throw up and coffee spills, which only added to the nausea I had developed from being jerked around in the back seat of this speeding death trap. Being able to get out, hand him my $11 and get the keys to my car was a beautiful relief. You never realize how much you take having windows for granted, until you break yours and it gets stuck down for three days. in the rain. and snow.
I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. until 6:20pm and then it was LASER TAG TIME. I've only ever gone lazur tagging once before, last year, at Zeta's date party in the spring. I then continued to roll my ankle not AT laszer tag, but after it, getting off the the bus. *face of shame*. However this year was much different. First off, I made my "username" TaylorSwift. Then, after a hot round of Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade, it was time for domination. During the first time our group got to go, we were split into teams, and of course, I was on the red team. shocker there. and my harness number was 1. So you could say I was set up to win. and Win I did. but, actually. it was a team thing, but I got the highest score of not only the red team, but the blue team as well. #killinit. The second round, I got first on the red team (which, randomly, I was placed on again), and second place over all. What can I say, I have a knack for shooting people in dark rooms with lazeher gun beams.
