I stumbled across these two videos yesterday, and they give me hope for the musical future. Because it wasn't looking very promising.
I had a dream last night I had a broomstick like Harry Potter. It was a badass dream. I could fly wherever I wanted to. And then I woke up. pity. In my head, my imagination, memories, and dreams are all in the same place, and they all feel the same. It makes remembering reality quite difficult. Jack Johnson wrote a song about that once called In Between Dreams. Upon waking up this morning, I found myself feeling really anxious. Like I had something due for school, or something I was forgetting. And then I remembered that I won't have anything "due" to do until January. Normally, hell yeah, that would be a relief. But I like the "oh shit" feeling of having something you need to get done, and then getting it done just before the time limit. I was listening to some birds outside my window. I was jealous. Those birds are just birds. They don't know who the president is, or anything about Syria. They can't watch the news and comprehend it. They're birds. I envy the birds.
I watched Modigliani last night with the fam. Our den has two seats and a couch big enough for one. My brother ended up sitting on the floor to watch. Picasso and Modigliani are the definition of Frenemies. They go from love to hate in a minute. In one scene, Modigliani is dancing around with a rose in his mouth like a fool, and seems to be making fun of Picasso in front of everyone, and Picasso goes, "why do you hate me so?" and the answer surprised me a bit. Modigliani goes, "it's not you that I hate, it's me". I liked it, because it was dark and unexpected for such a light scene. That's something that crazy artist and I have in common. We like other people more than we like ourselves. I don't think that's a crime. Loads of people do it. I get joy from other people being who they are. Other people fill me up with happiness I can't find on my own, and they don't even mean to. I'm such a firm believer that there is good in the human race. I know that good intentions can't outweigh bad decisions, but I love good intentions anyway. I love when people are passionate about things. I love when people are truly themselves without even realizing it. Here's a quote. Don't know who it's by, but it's not by me. Although I do feel everything that's in it...
"I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people's eyes when they realize they're in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they've forgotten their surroundings. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words."
- a quote, by somebody who I'd like to meet
There's nothing wrong with loving things. But it's truly liking something that people find difficult.
"I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other."
- the perks of being a wallflower
This quote makes me sad. because it gives love a bad name. not to sound cliche. but it does. saying something over and over makes it trite, and lose meaning. but when I say I love something, I really do. can you say the same? whoever "you" are.
I like pizza too much not to eat it, regardless of how fat it will make me.
OH. So my little brother says the phrase "yolo" last night. I couldn't disagree more with a saying in my life. You do not only live once. maybe you are only born once, and you only die once, but to me, every day that you wake up is a chance to live. Some people are alive but never live. and some people live in different ways all the time. The thing about living is, you're not doing it unless you've found something to live for. I can safely say I have not found something worth living for yet. But I know it's out there, and I will not stop trying to find it. Then again, maybe that's something worth living for huh? Seeking something to live for. My favorite book is Looking for Alaska by John Green. Miles says, "I go to find a Great Perhaps." I want one of those, I want a Great Perhaps, whatever that may be.
Today I get to go to the doctor. We've lessened the appointments to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Then I get to go to Homegoods, AND Staples. Living life dangerously. I guess this will help prepare me for my trip to Colorado next week (hi robbie and monica. I'm coming for you). Besides that, my day consists of calling my school's Bursar's office to get my semester refund check in order, watching a whole bunch of Gossip girl, and maybe a visit from a lovely lady named Victoria.
This is a song. Actually. It's a cover of a song I already liked. My bff just showed me this. shes lovely. she's got her own blog. you don't need to know who she is, but its http://momenttobreath.blogspot.com/ and she inspires me every day.
