When someone is supporting you, you have to realize they are supporting themselves too. So when you pile things on them, you have to understand that they have their own things they're already holding, even if they offer to help you. They're carrying double the emotional weight to try and help you. Friends are amazing, because they're just like everybody else, except you have a special bond with them that you can just feel. No matter how far apart you are, you're always right there for each other. But that's just it, they're just like everybody else. They're human. So in a friendship, it's easy to play into how badly you're feeling because you know no matter what, that friend will listen. So you have to take a step back and see what you're doing. Sometimes, having a friend tell you how well they're doing or how they're helping themselves is not only better for you but for your friend too. Don't get me wrong, we all have our days where we need someone. And that's what friends are for. But sometimes we play into things and it's not good for ourselves or the people around us. It's easy to have a legitimate reason for people to feel sorry and want to help you and then take advantage of that fact, and be miserable. Trust me. I know first hand. There have been times where I played into being in hospitals and passing out, not for attention in a vain way, but because I sought for care. I just wanted people, my friends even, to care about my well being. But they already did, and do. I didn't need to play into it for them to care. How pathetic does that sound? Probably a lot, but I didn't realize I was doing it at the time. Only looking back on it can I see what I did and why I did it. Sometimes all it takes is time and space to fix something about you that you didn't even know was wrong. It's like, I don't even know who I was a couple months ago. I look back at some of the things I did, and I just cringe.
All in all, what I'm trying to say is, no matter what's wrong with you, whether it's a big something or a little tiny nothing, your friends care about you just the same. But they're only human. You have to do what's best for you, you have to try take care of yourself, but know your friends will be there if you fall, like a net underneath a tight rope. Nothing more and nothing less. So to all of my friends that have caught me when I fell off my tight rope, thank you. I will always be there to catch you too. Forever, ever. And also, To all the friends or old friends I abused after I fell and didn't want to get up again, I'm sorry.
